Ashes and Embers
by Panuru
Summary: (Formerly titled "Theif of Hearts). Auron's personal plan to assist Yuna's pilgrimage without emotional attachment is twarted by his growing affection for Rikku. Finding something to live for isn't always a good thing. . . (Incomplete and in progress).
1. Part I: Fire and Ice

The Farplane was just as Auron remembered it. He had yet to come up with an excuse for not going inside, even as the group was standing outside it. Telling them that he had no one to see was too blatant a lie to be anything but suspicious; in fact, Auron would've liked to see Braska if he could have. What he could possibly talk to him about, he didn't know. Even though he had been trying since the start of his journey with Yuna to completely separate it from the one with Braska, to rid himself in redemption of naivete and high expectations, he couldn't imagine Braska not having some sage and encouraging words for him. The thought of him was comforting, even now, when Auron was supposed to have become much wiser. 

_I'm supposed to be the sage one now_, he thought grimly. _Braska, or whatever is left of Braska, needs to spend all the time he can with Yuna, not me._

As he expected, the others were not very surprised with his decision, though they tried to talk him into coming. They had already accepted that he was a private man, and it seemed only natural that they wouldn't be allowed to see something as revealing about him as his memories projected. Auron had also expected Kimahri to stay behind as well, simply because he hadn't been able to bring himself to think of the Ronso as an actual thinking, feeling being yet. He was an even more introverted creature than Auron himself, if simply because the others did not look up to him for guidance. What Auron hadn't expected was, instead, the young, vivacious, candid Al Bhed girl's announcement that she would be staying behind. He was suddenly very uncomfortable knowing that he'd be spending the wait alone with her. Auron frowned behind his upturned coat collar and shifted his katana on his shoulder, watching the others file into the Farplane entrance. He was slightly envious of them, and he felt more alienated than ever.

He crouched slowly and sat on the steps. Rikku followed his example, but not before giving everyone leaving a good-bye wave. She sighed quietly to herself and sat wordlessly on the opposite side of the steps, aware that she should prepare for a long period void of conversation or anything very interesting. Auron wanted to tell her that she should go, to experience it while she still had a chance, but was silent. He glanced at her position, her elbows on her knees and her cheeks in her hands. He wondered why someone like her, bright and enthusiastic and ripe to experience new things, would turn down a trip to the temple. Surely she had family she'd want to see– grandparents or aunts or uncles or someone. She certainly seemed the type to become emotionally attached. He finally decided that visiting the Farplane was a fairly religious practice, and that Rikku hadn't wanted to go because the Al Bhed were an atheist ethnicity.

"Want some?"

Auron was jerked out of his reverie and his body winced as he turned sharply to Rikku, as if she were a threat.

The girl shied slightly away, drawing her extended arm closer to herself. In her hand she was holding a plump red fruit out to him, and in her other hand she held the nibbled remains of her own.

"I saved some from inside…," she explained cautiously, half afraid of being scolded by him.

Auron shook his head and turned away from her again.

He listened to her mouth working on the fruit as they waited, and was surprised that he regretted that he hadn't taken advantage of the opportunity for conversation. While he had no trouble hiding the fact from the rest of the group, Auron himself was quite aware of his physical attraction to Rikku. He had no romantic illusions about it, however; he was aware of the fact that he was old enough to be her father, and reminded himself of it every time he caught himself watching her body, peeking secretly over his collar at the bronze slice of exposed belly under her shirt, her young and lithe foal legs, and fresh, feline figure. Auron allowed himself these small pleasures, but refused to entertain the idea that she'd be interested in him. Were he not fairly sure that there was a developing romance between Tidus and Yuna, he would have thought Rikku should be pursuing the blitzball player. Not only that, but his own lustful endeavors were hardly important considering why he was traveling with the band of fighters in the first place.

"Have you ever been in the Farplane?" Rikku asked, surprising him again, unable to bear the silence.

"No," Auron answered after a moment. His pause was not one of contemplation, but a polite beat of silence that would prevent his answer from being short and seemingly irate.

"Oh." Rikku tucked her legs closer in, so that her heels were against the step and her knees were together. Auron noticed that her green frilled shorts inched farther up her thighs in this position, so that he could see the vague line of muscle and more of the smooth, curving flesh. "I wonder if it's private, or if everyone can see…," she mused, mostly to herself so that she wouldn't be

imposing chatter on Auron.

"I wouldn't know," Auron muttered, keeping his speech as restrained as hers.

"It's probably sort of creepy in there…,"

_So that's it_, Auron thought. _She's scared. That seems more characteristic._

"There's nothing to be afraid of," he answered, hiding his smugness about figuring her out.

"I'm not," Rikku said quickly. "I just think it'd be a little weird, you know?"

"If you're not accustomed to Yevon tradition, I suppose," Auron answered flatly, pacifying her.

"Well, I guess I'm not…," Rikku decided, satisfied that Auron didn't think it was because she was afraid. She was aware that she would have to work harder to prove herself a valuable guardian to the men of the group, and did not need one of them wrongly assuming that she was scared. She also developed a sudden desire to appear more mature to Auron.

"All this sent, unsent, alive, dead business," she continued, "is sort of confusing, doncha think? I mean… you don't even know who's alive or not, you know?" She said all this before realizing she was chattering to a man she had mentally made note to avoid because of his silence, apparent disgruntled nature, and even his intimidating stature.

Auron's brow furrowed and his mouth turned down to his chin in a frown.

"If you can't tell if a person is alive or dead, I don't suppose it matters, does it?" he said, biting back his personal connection to the matter but still sounding more harsh than he'd intended.

"I guess you're right…," Rikku answered appeasingly, slowly and quietly, careful not to upset the man. It was the most he'd ever said to her, and, not being sure whether to feel privileged or like an annoyance, she was unsure how to treat the conversation.

Auron sensed her uncharacteristic skittishness, but couldn't soothe her. He didn't want her to be afraid of him, but he sat motionless except to shift his katana on his shoulder, letting the information gather and settle in him without commenting on it, the way he treated most of the things he perceived.

"I wonder how long they'll be…," Rikku mused, avoiding the act of asking Auron a question outright. She was annoyed by the unusual shyness that was growing with the amount of time she spent with the older man.

"Not long." Auron sighed and stood slowly, his coat swishing at his boots and the metal on his belt clinking. He dropped his sword farther down his shoulder so that only the hilt rested on him.

"They all know we're on an important journey and we need to be on the move."

"We have to get lots of rest, though," Rikku pointed out. Her voice fell as she lost confidence and she reminded herself with aggravation that she had no reason to fear Auron, nor any reason to worry that he might think she was being deliberately contradictory. "We can't burn ourselves out, you know? Even machina need rest and cooling off to work properly." She was hesitant to mention machina, in case Auron was as opposed to them as Wakka. He was definitely older than the blitzball player, but he was also more sensible. Perhaps he was one who also saw the value in them.

Auron was silent, watching the entrance to the Farplane with his broad back facing Rikku. He was reclusive and stony, but avoided being deliberately disagreeable. Rikku, as she watched the back of Auron's head without realizing she was staring, was discovering this about Auron's personality, and she secretly praised her insight. Auron was like her father in one way: both men were very different from the exteriors they presented to others. She smiled, proud and amused at her realization, as if she had just discovered an endearing weakness of a bear. She was still smiling as she fingered the strap on her thigh, wondering if she had time to treat herself to another fruit.

"What's funny?"

Rikku looked up abruptly and saw that Auron was looking at her sidelong with his head turned just enough that his good eye watched dully, just above the rim of his red collar, from over his armored shoulder. She also detected a change in his voice and attitude. It was a very awkward shift for him, but he'd softened his voice for her and had managed to convey interest in her answer.

"Oh. Nothing," Rikku said, trying to sound mature and take advantage of his attention. "I was just thinking that you're a little like my dad."

Auron turned his head back to the entrance, wondering if he should feel insulted or appraised.

Just as Rikku was starting to feel disappointed that he hadn't said more, he asked evenly, without turning to her, "Is that good or bad?"

"Oh. Er," Rikku said, taken aback by his delayed response. "Well, it's good. I guess. Yeah." She smiled.

"Mmm," Auron replied, a low and quiet sound he made absently from his throat. He looked at her again, without turning his head, from the corner of his eye, straining a little to do so. Her chin rested in one palm and her head was turned so that Auron caught the view of her profile– her small nose, round golden cheeks, and vivid eyes. He even noticed such small and perfect detail as the thin braids sprouting from her ponytail, tied in red ribbon. She stared off beyond the side of the marble steps in idle reverie. Auron thought she was beautiful, and he noticed for the first time not her waist, thighs, or slim little figure, but her clear and bright face.

He turned before she could realize he was watching her.

* * *

The Farplane had put all of its visitors in quiet, contemplative moods; Rikku endured the silence, Auron enjoyed it. His complaint would not have been that he found their chatter annoying, necessarily, but it was distracting to him and his mission while it was simple human interaction for his traveling companions. Tidus was the only of them that he had any sort of emotional bond with, and he'd quickly found that more friendship was more burden on his shoulders than he was willing to carry. He was glad to be moving once more. He did not like obstacles, however necessary, delaying his goals, nor did he like unexpected changes of atmospheres. He was a creature that adapted easily, but preferred his surroundings to be as simple and direct as possible. It was what made him a good fighter, and it was also what made him the tacit leader among them; his emotional detachment, however worthless to their differing personalities, was helpful when they needed impartial opinions. This was what Auron was good for and he realized it. He also saw it as his duty to the group— to provide level-headedness. Were one to ask him to evaluate the others' positions in their crew, he would have designated Tidus their enthusiasm, Wakka their dedication, Rikku their heart, Lulu their intuition, Kimahri their loyalty and Yuna the pivotal centerpiece to their mission, someone with whom they all had emotional ties to in some way.

Eventually, these contrasting personalities began to resurface again from underneath the consensus of reverie that they all shared after the trip. They'd split up by gender, like children, during the course of the trip. Rikku, Lulu and Yuna traveled together, the Ronso always following closely behind for Yuna's sake, and Wakka and Tidus had become the kind of fast, mutual and casual friends that would last forever. Auron lingered with them, if simply because Tidus tended to drag him into their conversations while they walked. His father was a vulnerable spot in his otherwise resilient skin, but Tidus always recovered rather quickly, and it wasn't long before he dragged everyone with him in putting the past where it belonged once more.

"I just realized," Tidus said, pausing to get his and Wakka's attention, speaking out of earshot of Kimahri and the girls behind them, "that you were alone with _Rikku _the whole time we were at the Farplane!" Tidus laced his fingers behind his head as he walked, elbows jutting outward to give him a nice foot-wide radius on either side to walk in. He grinned at Auron, waiting for a response out of habit before speaking again. "What was _that_ like?"

Auron scowled, unprepared to deal with such. Tidus and Wakka had been kidding each other in matters that concerned the opposite sex for the duration of their journey, but he'd given them no reason to include him in this and he hadn't expected them to find one where there was none.

"How do you mean?" he grunted.

"That a little far-fetched, ya?" Wakka chimed in. "Rikku and Auron." He chuckled. He seemed to be disagreeing out of respect for Auron, but Tidus was far less considerate, or perhaps he just knew that he had no reason to fear teasing the older man.

"Oh, I dunno," he said in a tauntingly thoughtful tone. "Maybe he needs someone to lighten him up."

Wakka, though amused, was perpetually conservative. "She's only, what, thirteen?"

"Fifteen," Tidus chirped optimistically. "In Zanarkand, age differences aren't really that big a deal."

Auron allowed them to continue, aware that they would become bored with the subject sooner or later. They were young but they were fighters, and their mission would not escape them for long.

"Well, anyway," Tidus continued. "We've got to fix him up with _some_one. He can't have Lulu because she obviously has a thing for _you_," he said, shifting the teasing in Wakka's direction now.

"Hey!" Wakka objected blushingly, though not backing down. "Well, he can't have Yuna either, 'cause of _you_, ya!"

Tidus laughed, but didn't deny this. In fact, he began to sport a rather smug expression. "Yeah, exactly!" he said unabashedly. Were Tidus anyone else, Auron would have been prepared to defend a lady's honor, but he knew that Tidus respected Yuna. "So if we get Auron and Rikku together, all that's left is Kimahri," he piped.

"Ah, shut up," Wakka scoffed, dismissing the conversation.

* * *

"Yunie…," Rikku began thoughtfully. She had been walking, rather uncharacteristically, with her hands locked behind her back and her head bowed slightly in thought, and Yuna had been on the verge of asking her if anything was wrong when the blonde spoke up.

Yuna switched her staff to the opposite hand and turned her attention to her cousin, a slight frown turning her small mouth downward before she spoke. "Yes, Rikku?"

"You've had experience with guys, right?"

Yuna blushed, her mismatched eyes rounding slightly before she realized that Rikku would never ask her anything that could be potentially embarrassing. Regaining her regal composure, the Summoner straightened her back a little and smiled patiently. "How do you mean?"

"You know," Rikku said, lifting her head from the contemplative bow and inclining her head to Yuna. "Boyfriends. Guys. There must have been _lots _of them after you in Besaid." Her tone was still not unflattering; in fact, she considered Yuna an epitome of beauty and ladylike persona, and spoke of Yuna's admirers as if it were only natural for them to harbor affections for someone like her. She was not wrong, either, but Yuna was modest enough to have honestly not noticed.

Lulu began to listen as well, interested and amused. Yuna had never had the opportunity for much conversation like this in Besaid. Most girls her own age had either been too jealous of her or too intimidated by her to befriend her, and this was how Wakka, Kimahri and Lulu herself had managed to develop such a strong bond with her.

"I never had much time for romance," Yuna said, not ruefully. "Why do you ask?"

Rikku beamed with excitement, looking briefly to Lulu to include her in the news. "Well… I think I like someone. I thought I'd get advice from an older woman," she explained reasonably, her arms starting to swing once again in a more typical gait.

"I think it depends on the boy and how much you like him," Lulu offered, not treating Rikku's situation as if it were unimportant. She could clearly remember feeling the same things. The intensity of the spectrum of emotions that could be associated with the opposite sex was a part of a girl's shift into a woman. However ridiculous it would seem later, at the moment it was felt it was pivotal and crucial. Lulu understood this and didn't want to Rikku to lose her passion. She was aware that people thought the loss of Chappu was what had turned her cold. She was also aware of the possibility that they were right. A woman with no passion was quickly marked as icy and unapproachable, and this label had been put on Lulu before she could finish grieving and become vibrant again.

Rikku thought she sounded wise, but was inwardly amused at her unknowingly incorrect referral to Auron as a boy. "Well," she said, kicking a pebble out of her path with the toe of one boot, "what if he's the quiet type? Am I too talkative to be with someone like that?"

"No," Lulu said, shaking her head with a light rattle of the decorations in her long black braids.

"No, I don't think so. It's always best to talk with someone and learn how much you have in common besides your personalities. Opposites often attract in nature, and different people can learn from each other. If they're too much alike, they get bored with each other."

"Yes," Yuna added in agreement. She decided that she liked this conversation, as frivolous as she used to think these kinds of topics were. She had no personal experience with the other gender to offer, but the chemistry of opposing elements in magic was something she was very familiar with.

Rikku looked hopeful for a moment, but then her expression darkened again in doubt, shaking her head. "Maybe…," she said. Normally she was quite optimistic, but she knew when a situation was so hopeless that she might as well think about something else. Dwelling on things that she couldn't improve was a fruitless process, she had been taught. It was never productive.

"He'd be lucky to have you, whoever he is," Yuna smiled. "Just be yourself. And if things don't work out, then you're destined to be with someone better."

Lulu nodded absently in agreement, wordlessly dissecting the situation in her mind. Rikku's condition was recent— she hadn't brought up this topic before— and the only men she'd had contact with were the same ones they were all traveling with. Wakka and Tidus, though they were the most likely candidates for Rikku's affection, could certainly not be considered "quiet types", which left Auron and Kimahri. The Al Bhed were very liberal people, meaning that the Ronso was not out of the question, but Kimahri restricted his speech to those who spoke to him. Rikku couldn't possibly have had the opportunity to develop romantic affection for him. From the process of elimination that she was sure Yuna was also taking into account, Lulu came to the conclusion that Rikku was speaking of Auron. She did not vocalize her discovery, however, because that would surely embarrass the girl, or else she wouldn't have kept his identity anonymous.

Meanwhile, Rikku made a disgusted and frustrated guttural sound, tossing her hands up. "I've never wanted to be different before and now I keep thinking about how I wish I were!" Rikku kept the tone of this cry hushed, for Wakka, Tidus and Auron were not far ahead (Kimahri stayed respectfully far enough away from them that he couldn't overhear their conversations).

"Because of him?" Lulu asked, and though her tone was perpetually unreadable, she was sympathetic. When she had first discovered her feelings for Chappu she had longed to be more bubbly and outgoing, like the other girls who had been equally charmed by him. He had been drawn to her mystique and powerful mind, however, first out of platonic respect, which had turned into admiration, which had turned into love. Lulu would always believe that it was the best equation with which love could be eventually reached.

Rikku nodded helplessly, sighing heavily through her nostrils.

"Rikku," Lulu started, "everyone in the world is the person they are for a reason. You're cheerful. Yuna is quiet. Tidus is over-confident and cheeky," she said, adding the last part with dry humor. "We're all part of a very efficient and well-planned structure, and changing who you are will only bring harm to that balance. Be who you are. You are that way because there is someone else in the world that is perfect for you."

Rikku smiled politely. "I guess you're right," she said, nodding, choosing not to tell Lulu that the Al Bhed did not believe in predestination. Instead, she pretended to be placated, watching the red flag of Auron's jacket moving over his shoulders ahead of them as a guide.


	2. Part II: Day and Night

Rikku had always stayed with Yuna and Lulu when the group stopped for rest, but, much to everyone's surprise, she insisted that she wanted to stay by herself when they finally stopped in the Thunder Plains. Everyone except Yuna and Lulu decided to blame the moodiness of her behavior on her fear of thunder. None of them were very happy with the building once they were inside and realized what kind of environment they would be spending the night in, but the tacit and mutual agreement among most of them was that it was better than crossing the plains without rest. It was not their most comfortable stay, but the Thunder Plains inn was a shelter, not a luxury. Night fell, and eventually they all got used to the unceasing rumble and crackle of lightning and thunder outside. Wakka and Tidus even decided to linger in the overhang of the roof of the inn and watch the display before bed.

Yuna, dressed in a long, white, cotton sleeping gown and leaning against the wall beside the window of her room, stared past her own reflection in the glass. She was aware that she had perhaps grown out of such childish sleepwear, but she had no immediate desire to switch to anything more flamboyant. Arms crossed, she smiled faintly at the blitzball players as she watched from her room. They were laughing and playing. Muffled traces of their cheerful conversation made it to her through the screen of glass between them. She looked over her shoulder at Lulu, smiling serenely before turning back to the window.

"It's good that Wakka has someone like him to play with," she laughed, then inclined her head as she watched.

Lulu pulled on a decorative robe over her long silky nightgown. It rattled with the

clatter of tiny black and jade beads that were woven into small, articulate rows to form the garment. "Yes," she agreed while raking patient nails through her hair, now free of decorations and braids. It was a relief on her scalp. She sighed as she shifted the roots slightly with her fingertips, enjoying the air that was now free to move between the strands. "I was afraid that this trip would break his spirit."

Yuna, shaking her head, smiled affectionately. "No, I don't think anything could do that…"

When the boys finally filed inside to go to bed, Yuna left the window and sat on the edge of her bed, propping the heels of her hands on either side of her. "He really likes Tidus— it must be like having Chappu back." As soon as she said it, Yuna wished she could have caught the words before they passed through the air to Lulu's ears and pinched them out of existence. Lulu, however, was not noticeably bothered. She was used to Yuna treating the subject of Chappu with extreme delicacy in her presence, but she hadn't quite found a way yet to tell her that she was finished grieving. It did not help that, morbidly, she had grown fond of the color black during mourning, and no one was quite sure whether she was still grieving or not; no one felt it appropriate enough to ask, of course, even Yuna. The girl's politeness sometimes exceeded her camaraderie.

"Not quite," Lulu disagreed coldly but sensibly. She lit a stem of incense surrounded in a black-glass container to burn during the night. It was magka, a soothing concoction she had developed herself over the years to bring insightful and pleasant dreams. "But he must find it relieving not to shoulder the responsibility of cheering everyone up all by himself."

Yuna smiled as she watched Lulu. The incense began to burn her nostrils pleasantly. She debated whether or not to pursue the subject of Chappu, and finally decided against it, pushing back her covers and then cocooning herself in them. "Yes, now he has both Tidus and Rikku for that," she said cheerily as she settled her head comfortably on the pillow.

Lulu nodded and pinched out the fire on the end of a small wooden stem she'd used to light the incense. "Mm— as soon as Rikku realizes what's more important on this trip," she said, her tone unsympathetic and, as usual, contradicting her actual feelings concerning the matter. She was aware that Yuna had, by now, learned to discern her indifferent tone from actual indifference.

The summoner sighed patiently, almost wistfully. "Well, Rikku is the youngest of us all, and she has a crush. I'm sure it's hard on her to be taken seriously as it is." Yuna smiled. "I don't think she'll let her own problems distract her from others' for long. She isn't like that at all."

Lulu's expression slackened softly in amusement, as if the ropes that held up her passive features were briefly loosened. She dabbed a cloth over her mouth to wipe off the lipstick (black, with a suggestion of blue). It was so fitting of Yuna's personality for her to sympathize with something she hadn't truly experienced that Lulu could have spoken the words with her in unison. "You might be right," she allowed. "I still don't think it's something she should pursue. More emotional drama is the last thing we need."

Yuna hoisted herself up, supporting her weight on one elbow from the mattress. "You realize who it is?" she asked. She didn't fear giving away the secret she had deduced herself; she expected that Lulu had figured it out even before she had.

Lulu nodded before she turned around and pushed her own covers back, settling against a cushioned wall of pillows. She gathered a book into her lap. "That is precisely why I think she shouldn't pursue it," she said. Her face, naked, was fresher and more alive than the dark colors of her make-up, contrasted against her skin like a pale veil, always suggested.

Yuna sank into her mattress once more, defeated and sorry for Rikku's sake. She folded her arms on her pillow and rested her head on them. "Yes…" Yuna had to agree, if weakly. "Auron is much too closed-off."

Lulu nodded, opening a book. "He would treat it rather tactlessly and crush her."

She said what Yuna had been too polite to say.

* * *

Rikku had never spent much time by herself. Her Al Bhed upbringing had included two overprotective men. When she was had not been fending off unapologetic horse-play, she had been tending to the wounds they had gained in their shared reckless nature. Combined, they competed to out-do each other, and as a result, their antics were under the influence of a concoction of ego, bravado, and the inevitable subtraction of logic. It was Rikku's job to worry and to be the vessel for their abandoned reasoning when they went too far. She was used to being needed as a nurturer. Cid had refused to make her position in their household any less important than a boy. He only denied her any duty when absolutely unavoidable.

After her mother died in the machina attack shortly after giving birth to her, Cid had placed on her the responsibility of being the only female in the house with high expectations. Growing up with no motherly influence had worn off any ladylike layer she'd ever had. It had repelled the boys who weren't already wary to date her because of the status of her father. Cid dismissed them as idiots when she came to him with these problems and never allowed her to let it upset her for long. She had always believed him and had not once let her brothers' teasing turn her into a brittle, meek girl. Reflecting on all of this, she couldn't imagine why she was so bothered by her crush on Auron— she realized that it was childish and that it was a waste of time. She wasn't accustomed to being plagued by problems after she'd logically evaluated them. Cid had always taught her that all equations had solutions, as long as she didn't let the weight of problems intimidate her.

She sighed heavily with discouragement as she stood with her weight on one hip in the small bathroom of her inn room, mixing potions and powders on the gray porcelain vanity. "But _this_ isn't a normal problem," she muttered dismally, pursing the plump lips of her petite mouth together, then standing back to brush fruit extract from her hands onto the front of her melon-pink nightie. A guttural sigh escaped her throat like the rumble of a machina motor. "Boys don't have to worry so much."

The physical task of mixing the potion distracted her from the mental task of deciphering her fondness for Auron. It was also less exhausting.

Auron thinned out his presence among the group so that they weren't aware that he was monitoring them. He achieved a nearly omnipresent existence until they were all in their rooms and settled. He'd nearly crossed the line to eavesdropping when he'd checked on Yuna and Lulu, but had walked past their closed door before hearing anything he shouldn't have. Tidus and Wakka were quietly chuckling and joking behind their own door (Kimahri, after having had it explained gently to him why it was inappropriate for him to stay in Yuna's room, had accepted the fact gracefully and taken up with them as well), and when Auron had passed Rikku's room, he had heard nothing. After he was satisfied that everyone was participating in the idle, lazy activities of pre-sleep, he made the trip to his own room.

The process of undressing, removing the thick layers of his heavy clothes, made him look almost vulnerable due to how much they added to his stature when he had them on. Therefore, his first reaction to seeing Rikku in his bathroom was to reverse the process of taking off his coat. He waited for Rikku to acknowledge the situation, but she had become so immersed in whatever she was doing and was so inappropriately dressed that she must not have realized the mistake of being in his room. He pushed the door shut to get her attention.

Rikku's own reactions were more jerky and dramatic, like the reactions of a chocobo to jabs from its rider. First, she jumped and spun to face the sound, then the petite features of her face expanded— eyes widening, mouth gaping. The reaction of anger was not natural in her, but was activated consciously almost as quickly.

"What are you doing in my room!"

Auron hadn't expected her to claim it as her own, and for a moment he forgot how to react to defiance.

"This is my room," Rikku said, a little less passionately, with less intent to object than intent to remind him of the subject in his state of idleness. Her defiance and surprise gave way to the embarrassment of being seen nothing but her nightie and the claw she'd not yet unstrapped from her wrist. Although his reaction was purely oblivious so far, she unknowingly drew his attention further to the subject by sidling behind the corner of the vanity.

"What are you talking about? It's my room." His tone was harsh, but it was not cruelty that made him react this way so much as it was seeing her immodestly clad and in his room. She looked smaller with all the gadgets in her outfit off her, but also older, with her hair down. His method of dealing with the kind of feeling she suddenly inspired in him had been, for a long time, to smother it. He could think only of getting her out and tried to do so under a guise of no-nonsense.

"It's _mine_, Auron!"

"Stop acting like a child. Get out." He crossed the room and reached for her, meaning to push her in the direction of the door, but she reacted suddenly, swinging her armed fist at his head. She knocked him into stumbling and away from her.

"Don't you try to hit me! You may think you can boss everyone in Spira around just because–!" She stopped when she realized he wasn't advancing further, and was in fact groaning under his hand.

"Stupid girl," he grunted.

She scoffed, cocking one hip out, half in triumph and half in defiance.

"Don't be a baby," she mocked him.

"You nearly got my good eye."

Rikku winced as she watched him and he finally addressed her silence with irritation.

"What is it?"

"That... was my poison claw," she said carefully, then hurriedly added, "but I have plenty of antidote! Just a second. Oh– you should wash it out."

As he did, Rikku went into the bedroom and returned with two vials of green liquid.

"Here..."

"I can't see well enough to put it on, of course," he growled.

"Oh. No problem!"

The cheerful, buoyancy of her voice, not discouraged by his own tone, made him feel a little guilty. His eye was surrounded by swollen pink skin, mapped by red veins, and dripping with tears and the water he'd used to wash it out when she reached a hand to it. For as birdish, nimble and quick her touch was, it was also surprisingly motherly. She stepped back to survey him once she'd applied the potion.

"I'm sorry," she sighed in response to seeing the full effect of what she'd done. "Just, I didn't know what to do and it was just an impulse sort a thing. This stupid thunder has me all jumpy, you know! Do you think lightning'll strike the inn?" She averted his attention to a different subject.

"If we'd kept moving, we wouldn't have to worry about it," he grunted, then dabbed his eye with his sleeve.

She scowled at him, but slumped, defeated, against the vanity and looked at the pair of them in the mirror.

"You didn't have to be so grumpy about that," she scolded his reflection. "We'd've just burned out if we'd kept going, anyway."

"We won't have time to coddle you like this again."

"I didn't want to be coddled!" she snapped at him, the sudden viciousness in her voice surprising them both. It caused Auron's spine to stiffen a little, half in amusement, half in expectation. Rikku took advantage of what seemed to be an attentive pose. "You don't even know me and already you think the worst," she said. "Well, I can do a lot. I won't slow anyone down except you, if you just keep having a bad attitude about me. So get over it."

Auron was not surprised by her emotion, but by her feelings about the particular matter. It had been a long time since his disposition had caused anyone so much frustration.

"I apologize," he said gruffly. He lowered his sleeve and peeling his eye open carefully. It revealed her reaction in degrees– first doubtful, then thoughtful, then sheepish.

"No. Just– like I said, the lightning making me jumpy...," she finished with a sigh, watching him, trying to gauge any change in his expression. Her fixation fixated him in turn and he stood, curious by the expecting look. The silence had almost stretched into an uncomfortable moment when lighting flashed through the window, framing Auron in ghostly colors. The subsequent crack of thunder made Rikku scream and draw her arms up to her chest.

"Ugh...," she hissed at herself. She held her elbows in her hands and waited for a recovery that did not come. Her body stayed clenched and anxious.

"Hn." Auron moved past her and she thought he meant to leave, but she felt the drop of something warm and heavy on her shoulders. His red coat felt as big as a blanket swallowing her. As she pulled it shut around her, Auron stooped to pick up the black sunglasses she'd knocked off of his face and onto the floor.

"You shouldn't wear those so much," she advised. "I know when I wear my goggles too much, it makes my nose and the place behind my ears sore. It isn't good for your vision, either, especially when you're fighting. And anyway, you look better without them.

Auron gave her an amused look before he unfolded them and lifted them to his face. Before he could apply them, though, she withdrew them quickly from his fingers and put them on her own face. She did so with delicacy and respect, as if they were a tiara. Auron was amused because he realized how strange it was to do so– they were cheap and expendable, which was why he had always treated them haphazardly.

Rikku watched him, unsure whether to be encouraged or discouraged by his lack of reaction. He seemed thoughtful, so she was quiet.

Auron suddenly understood. It was in the subliminal prey-predator game she had tried to begin and in her concentration on their interaction. He held her shoulder firmly in place. The oversized fit of the glasses made her look like an ignorant animal as she looked up at him.

_No, not ignorant, _he thought._ Naive, hopeful, young... She looks young. In_ my _sunglasses, of all things._

"What?" she breathed. Her voice squeaked out of a body so full of emotion that her rib-cage felt tight.

"This would be a mistake for you. Don't pursue it. Think of our mission."

Rikku frowned and dug her nails into her palms. She was not surprised that he knew, only that he had actually addressed the issue out loud.

"Why are you _like _that? Why can't you just...?"

"Just what? There are so many things you can't pick on out, can you?"

"Don't feel sorry for yourself! Don't," she added quickly, "because I can, if you'll just let me, you know? Okay?"

He sighed. "I shouldn't have mentioned it. I should have known you would be persistant."

"That's me," she sang, framing her face with both hands by touching her thumbs together and placing them under her chin.

It had been a long time since he had responded to cutesy, feminine behavior like hers. Perhaps he never had. He couldn't remember knowing many girls like Rikku, and if he had, he was sure he wouldn't have wasted much interaction on them back them.

_It's too bad there are only so many things I can try to make up for on this journey._

"While I'm here," he said, tugging at the handle of his sword so that the pressure swung it forward, off of his shoulder, "you can customize my sword. We'll be encountering many more lightning fiends before we're out of the Thunder Plains and it'll do me good to have some kind of water-strike added to it."

"Consider it done."

"Fine." He held the handle of the sword out to her. She looked doubtfully at it, then her expression was flushed with sudden determination. She wrapped both hands around the handle and hefted it toward the vanity.

"Be careful!" he barked. The blade swung toward the glass mirror. He caught her arms and halted its momentum before anything was broken.

"Jeez. How do you lug this thing around all the time?"

"Just be careful with it; have it ready by morning."

"Fine, fine. I can't sleep alone in this lightning anyway."

"What, need a babysitter?"

"_No," _she said, and stuck her tongue out at him. He pinched it between his first two fingers.

"Ehy!"

"I'll stay here with you and sleep in the floor, in return for the adjustments on my sword. Deal?" He released her tongue to let her speak.

"_Ow_. Yeah. Okay– deal."

He nodded in return, then exited into the bedroom.


End file.
